A Brief History Of Turkeys In Cambodia

Image courtesy of papaija2008 at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I don't exactly know when the first turkey arrived in Cambodia, but when my family arrived here 13 years ago, frozen turkeys cost $70 to $80. Missionaries would gather in large groups for Thanksgiving and pool their resources to buy a turkey. The amount each family paid depended on the size of their family. The host had the unenviable task of collecting from his friends and blocking people's cars in so they couldn't leave without paying. Even for those who opted not to eat, there was usually a $5 surcharge just for sniffing. Every bone was licked clean. Leftovers were out of the question. Those were some dark days.

After learning the Khmer language, we came to the realization that a very important word had been overlooked in our lessons. That word was "turkey." I decided to show a picture of a turkey to some people and discover what the Khmer word for turkey was. After polling numerous Cambodians, they all said the same thing..."moen barang." Moen is chicken; barang is foreigner. And as in many languages, the adjective follows the noun. So...a turkey is a foreigner chicken. Foreigner chicken? Oh, brother! Such a miscarriage of literary justice! But old habits die hard, so "foreigner chicken" it remained.

Help Us Choose A Furlough Vehicle

We've spent the first several weeks of our furlough looking for a vehicle to purchase. After chasing down numerous leads and driving lots of miles in borrowed vehicles (thanks to generous relatives and friends), it appears that our search is over. We have found a van that will meet our needs and hope to pick it up within a few days. Meanwhile, while downloading some pictures from our camera the other day, I had to laugh at how many vehicles I have taken a picture of this past month. I guess that's to be expected with vehicles "on the brain." So since we haven't given the van owner any money yet, I thought perhaps I should take a poll and see which vehicle you think we should get. After looking through my pictures, here are my five favorites:

Last week, I stepped out of our hotel room one morning to go and preach a Christian school chapel. I saw this limo waiting outside the hotel. I laughed inside and said, "Well, bless their hearts...look what they sent to fetch me."

The Hummer Limo

What's That Stuff Down There?

A joke to end the year with a smile...

An airplane was flying low over the hills of Athens. A teenaged girl looked out the window and then asked her dad, "What is that stuff on those hills down there?"

"That's snow" he replied.

She gave a little snort, leaned close to her dad and whispered, "That's what I thought, but I just heard that guy in the next row say it was grease!"

Celebrating Christmas In Cambodia

1. There is nothing special about the colors green and red.

2. You have to spray down your gingerbread house with Raid to make sure the ants, roaches, and lizards don't carry it away during the night.

3. You can go Christmas caroling in your flip-flops if you want to.

4. Your church members are more likely to give you a bunch of bananas than a coffee mug or tie.

5. All the wrapping paper has pink bunnies in Santa hats and very touching statements like: "Congratulations my lovely friend every day for a Happy Christmas".

You Might Be a Missionary Kid If...

Missionary Kids (MK's) are unique! If you are an MK, you know that. If you have ever known an MK, you undoubtedly know it too! Without even trying, their life is just different from the norm. Some people seem to pity Missionary Kids for all the things they have supposedly given up. Yes, it is true that they give up some things when they leave America and go to live in a foreign land, but don't feel sorry for them! Missionary Kids have a life of adventure about which most kids can only dream. 

A few years ago I was introduced to a hilarious article called "You Might Be A Missionary Kid If..." I have since read many versions of this article in books, websites, and emails. I really don't know who came up with the very first one, but obviously many people have added their own wit and wisdom to the list over time. I want to share some of our favorites in the first half of this article. But even if you have already read these somewhere else, you need to read on to the end. Why? Because Angela and I (with a little input from the kids) have come up with our very own list of how to know if you are a Missionary Kid.

"Do You Know Anything About Parachutes?"

A Joke With A Point

A man parachuted out of an airplane, and when he pulled the cord, his chute failed to open.  As he continued falling through the air, he grabbed for his reserve ripcord, but again nothing happened.  He began to fret just a bit as you might imagine, and he said to himself,  "Oh man!  What am I gonna do now?  I'm a goner for sure!"

As he plummeted downward, suddenly he saw a surprising sight down below him.  A man was flying straight up towards him at a speed that was every bit as fast as his own, and it appeared that he would pass nearby.  "Hey, great!" he thought.  "Maybe this guy can help me."  As the man shot by him the parachutist yelled, "HEY!!!  YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT PARACHUTES?"  To which the man replied, "NO!  YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT GAS STOVES?"

After I read that joke, the thought occurred to me that I am not the only person in the world with a problem.  The people I meet throughout the day, they all have problems too.  Some are worse than mine.  I had a couple of bad days last week.  Wednesday was one of the most discouraging days I've had in a long time.  Sunday started off really badly, although it did get better quickly.  But do you know what?  Compared to some of the other trials that I know some people are going through right now, I have nothing for which to complain.  I challenge you to keep this little joke in mind next time you are tempted to complain or feel sorry for yourself.  Look around.  Somebody else has a problem that is bigger than yours.  Instead of focusing on our own problems, we should lend a helping hand (or a prayer) to another person in need.

The Friendly Barber

A Great Joke To Brighten Your Day

A man went into the barbershop for a haircut.  While the barber was cutting his hair, he asked the customer, "So...what do you do for a living?"  "I'm a teacher," was the man's reply.  Over the next 15 minutes, the two men had a nice conversation centered around the teacher's career in influencing children.  When the barber was finished, the teacher asked, "How much do I owe you?"  The barber firmly shook the man's hand and said, "You don't owe me anything.  I consider it an honor to serve you since you have served the children of our city."  The stunned teacher expressed his gratitude and then left the shop.  The next morning when the barber came to work, sitting on his steps was a nice thank-you note with a box of chocolates.

The next day a marine went into the barbershop.  He didn't look like he needed much of a haircut, but obviously he wanted it shorter still.  While the barber cut his hair, he asked lots of questions about the marine's time in the service and all of the places that he had been.  When the barber finished the haircut, he gave the man a snappy salute and said, "No charge.  It's my honor to cut your hair for your service to our country."  The marine proudly returned the salute with a "Thank you, sir!" and left the barbershop.  The next morning when the barber came to work, sitting on his steps was a brand-new marine corps baseball cap.

The next day a Baptist missionary walked into the barbershop.

Lang, Hang, Sang, Mang, and Chang

There is no shortage of humor on the mission field.  Recently I was writing an email update of our ministry here in Cambodia, and the thought occurred to me that some of these names must sound a little bit funny to someone who doesn’t live in Cambodia.  In one update I talked about a man named Hee and a man named Vee, and then in the next update I talked about a woman named Ree.  For the record, besides Hee, Vee, and Ree, other common names in Cambodia include Lee, Tee, Dee, and Nee.

It’s pretty common among Cambodians to name their kids in a series of very similar-sounding names, oftentimes one letter of difference between them.  I think they do it on purpose to mess with the minds of friendly pastors who try to remember their kids’ names.  My favorite family of names was the siblings of a man I led to Christ 7 years ago.  His name was Lang.  He invited me to his house one day, and when I arrived, he introduced me to his brother, Hang.  When I asked how many other siblings he had, he informed me that besides Lang and Hang, there were 4 more:  Sang, Mang, Chang, and (are you ready for this?) ...Tuen!  OK, I’ll admit it.  I was kind of disappointed when I heard that last name.  I mean…it’s not like they were all out of rhyming names.  There was still Fang, Gang, Rang, Tang, and Bang.  I don’t know.  I just felt kind of sorry for the kid.

Here are some other classics:

The ABC's Of Driving In Cambodia

A

Angles are everything.  When another driver is turning toward you at a 5-degree angle, don’t worry, everything will turn out alright.  A 15-degree angle, you’re still fine, just make sure you keep your front bumper a few inches ahead of their front bumper so as to force them to merge behind you.  A 45-degree angle, at this point things are getting a little dicey.  Several long blasts on the horn are in order.  Warning: You should only call their bluff in direct proportion to how nice the other car is.  In other words, do you love your car more than he loves his, or does he love his car more than you love yours?  A 90-degree angle, hope your brakes work well!

B

Big cars rule!  Learn the laws of the asphalt jungle.  Know where you fit in the food chain.

C

Create your own space.  Yellow lines, white lines, double lines, dotted lines, crosswalks, concrete barriers, and sidewalks are there simply to get your creative juices flowing.  When it comes to getting from point A to point B, learn to think outside the box.